Sincerely, Our Insecurities
by gentlycrazy
Summary: Growing up, graduating college, becoming actual adults meant life was supposed to be good. No more acne, listening to your parents, pesky high school insecurities...or so they thought. Roommates and best friends Alice, Bella, and Rosalie find out the true meaning of growing up. Surprisingly it has nothing to do with men, careers, and living on your own. Multiple POV, OOC, AH.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.**

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Chapter One

Our Weird Behaviors Mean Nothing At All…Right?

Rosalie

_I'm not sure what happened. One second I was flying, on the top of the world, skipping while shouting "hooray!" Then the next moment I'm sinking, buried alive, crawling out the door trying not to cry. Or at least that's what it felt like. It's my sixteenth birthday party, my Sweet Sixteen. Everything was supposed to be beautiful and classy, absolutely perfect! But suddenly it's not, the Devil himself came in wearing a suit and tie and Italian leather shoes. I went from up to down instantaneously. That stupid smile, so arrogant and smooth, flashing teeth and directed straight at me. Sauntering across the room in his usual step, I frantically looked for a way out. What's a girl supposed to do? You know deep down that he is wrong and bad and everything you momma warns you about. But goodness gracious I've never tasted something so addictive. One little bite of that unearthly desert and you'll never be the same. I felt beads of sweat forming and then the nausea. Everything in me screamed: run! But I was too slow and then I was too far gone. He reached out and grabbed both my hands in his. I was melting! Absolute putty in his hands. Boys should not be created like this; no one should be intelligent, handsome, and smooth. You should only get one of those, right? Oh that grin, he could seduce anyone. He can seduce anyone. That annoying voice of reason rang out clearly, actually he seduces everyone! _

_"Do you think we can go talk somewhere?" He asks, leaning forward and whispering in my ear. A playful smirk and a nod towards the backyard accomplishes in silencing any voice of reason. I smile back and lead the way. The party, DJ, food, and alcohol are all inside. My parents are out and the bedrooms are all unlocked. Which means that outside is practically deserted. Even if it wasn't, I have a secret place. I talk him through the backyard to the pool, and his eyes alight with excitement. I suppress the urge to laugh as I drag him across the stone path and around the cabana. It's a few minutes walk, just around the west side of the house. "A tree house?" He asks, eyes wide._

_I throw back one of his playful smirks, as I raise my eyebrows. "You don't have to join me." I turn around and begin to climb up the questionable looking ladder. He was only a step behind me as we topple into the room. It's small and dark, but perfectly secluded. Of course he doesn't waste a moment, I taste alcohol and mint the moment he had his jacket off. His hands begin at the back of my head as he pulled me into a kiss, but moved quickly to my back and unzipped my dress halfway. He pushed me down on the wood paneled flooring and was pulling my dress down to just below my breasts in quick movements. His mouth trailed kisses down to my neck and cross my collar bone. I arched my back as he moved to undo my strapless bra. Cold air suddenly hit me, but left as suddenly because he had moved his hands to my chest. The way he wrapped his hands around me was a little rough, just like his tongue as it found mine. He was just rough enough that it was exhilarating. My fingers were securely twisted in his hair, pulling him closer. Breathlessly he pulled back, giving me a moment to unbutton his silky grey shirt. My fingers ran across the protruding abs and over his bicep muscles as I helped him out of the shirt. His bare chest against mine, lighting a fire in my core. He leaned down closer to me, making me feel as though we were breathing as one. He was thick and hard as he pushed himself down into my legs; the motion was slow at first. Driving himself down a little faster and harder the second time, causing me to moan out._ _No sixteen year old boy should have that much to be proud of. I felt him smirk against my lips right before I felt his hands moving to push up the tulle of my dress. His fingers found my shorts and were teasingly rubbing around for a few seconds; but long enough to cause my nerves to explode. We both move to help him out of his pants, leaving him in his boxers. The movements were awkward but that was quickly forgotten as he pulled my shorts off in an easier movements. His hands moved to my waist, fingers sprawling out and grabbing me around the waist. Pushing his hips down in-between my legs again with a little more force than before with quicker and multiple thrusts, underwear the only thing between us. He and I moan simultaneously which instantly deepens the already deep kiss. His fingers begin to feel around my waist, heating me to the point where I feel like my blood has to be boiling. I felt his fingers moved down to the top of my panties._

_"Rose," He mumbles against my lips, "You're feeling a little softer around the middle these days." His tongue immediately running across mine after he says those words._

_"Excuse me?" I ask, pushing up him back a little. "Did you just call me fat?"_

_He groans, "No, oh god I'm an idiot. Forget I said anything."_

_"No, you called me fat! How do I forget that?" I push him off me entirely, bringing my legs to my chest, closes them and fastening my arms around them. He has lost his mind if he thinks he's getting anywhere after a comment like that._

_He runs his fingers through his hair, "Come on, babe. I never said fat; I just meant you felt softer. Gaining a couple pounds was the best thing you've done to your body, you have these fantastic curv-"_

_I held my hand up, "Don't you even think about finishing that sentence!" I move to climb out of the tree house, embarrassed and pissed off. Who does he think he is?!_

_He scoffs, "Where are you going?" He exclaims, moving towards me trying to grab my arm._

_"I was momentarily delusional when I let your slimly ass touch me, it won't happen again." I spat as I pulled out of his hold and pull my dress up over my exposed breasts._

_"Well good luck finding someone to make out with your fat ass!"_

My eyes shot open, finding myself in my bedroom. I was hot and sweaty, not to mention tangled up in my blanket and sheets. I rubbed my eyes as I struggled to turn around to look at my alarm clock. 5:23 A.M., one hour and seven minutes before my alarm was actually supposed to go off. Great! I was afraid to close my eyes again and find myself back in my sixteen year old body reliving one of the worst moments of my life. I had left my bra and shorts up in that stupid tree house along with my self-esteem. I shook my head, as if that would make the terrible nightmare vanish from my brain. Untangling myself, I stumbled sleepily towards the bathroom; a good hot shower might wash away the memories.

Alice

"I hate men." I sigh out in frustration, "I mean is it really that hard to stay off your phone for an hour or two? It was a first date for crying out loud! Fancy dinner, wine, classical music playing in the backgr-" I look over at my friend across the table who is pushing around her measly looking salad, "Rose?"

She looks up, her icy blue eyes not even focused, "Oh, yep. Men are assholes."

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" A familiar voice calls out. Bella appears at our table looking winded and pulls out a chair, flopping down quickly. "I see you already ordered.

"Correction." I say, pointing accusingly at Rose, "She already ordered. I have yet to even see our waiter. Rose apparently arrived way early."

Rose rolls her eyes, "No you guys are simply late. I was hungry so I ordered." She looks over to Bella and gives her a bored look, pouting her cherry red lips, "Al here is complaining about her train wreck date."

Bella turns to me as she unravels her long brown scarf from around her neck, her brown eyes warm and sympathetic. "Tell me about," She says as she picks up her menu, "From the beginning!"

I smile at her, "Well I appreciate one of my friends actually caring about me!" Rose rolls her eyes again, but in a more playful way as she actually focuses on me this time.

"Ah the rest of the party has arrived. My name is Edward and I'll be your server today. What would you ladies like to drink?" Our waiter says, interrupting me. I hold in a sigh as I look at him. Holy crap…since when did waiters look this hot? I quickly toss aside my inappropriate thoughts before I do something awful like drool and smile brightly at him.

"I'd like a Coke." I say. Didn't I just promise myself this morning that I was going to stay away from men?

"I'd like a Coke too please." Bella says, but she's looking at me. Oh great, she has the 'what are you doing?' look. I resist the urge to slap myself across the face. The poor hot waiter might not know I was checking him out but Bella does.

"I'll be right back with those drinks." He says, flashing a quick toothy grin. His emerald green eyes captivating against his tan skin, not to mention the bronze mess of hair hover above those eyes. Stop it Alice! You're a mess right now! Checking out the waiter…what is wrong with you?

"Al!" Bella whispers, a slight blush spreading across her cheeks. "Why didn't you just jump up and undress him? I mean you were already doing it with your eyes!" She gave an amused laugh despite the growing blush across her face. "Sure he was gorgeous, but what is wrong with you?" Oh if she only knew she was echoing my own thoughts. I shrug as I try to write off the whole thing as no big deal. But really, what is wrong with me? I mean sure he looked like he had a cute backside, and I'd love to feel the abs beneath that shirt…and oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? I'm some sort of hormonal teenager again. I look back to see Bella still staring at me like I've lost my mind.

"I've had a bad week." I say defensively under her shocked and amused stare. "You even said it yourself that he was gorgeous."

"Yeah but if you keep staring at him like that he'll think we are some seducing psychos!" Bella whispers, obviously struggling between being serious and laughing.

"It's not like we'll ever see him again!" I argue reasonably.

Rose's laughter breaks through our conversation, her eyes wide as she looks between the two of us. "That guy lives in our apartment building. I think he just moved in, or else he just really likes walking around our lobby."

Bella finally laughs, "Oh great Al! Now we look like seducing psycho stalkers!"

oooooooooooo

It's just been one of those weeks where I hate the world. Now it's 6:33 A.M. and all of my clothes have been tossed around my room in dismissal. Why don't I own anything worth wearing? Placing my hands on my hips and pouting until my face is sore is not going to help, but I do it anyway because it feels like I'm accomplishing something. Alright it really doesn't but that's what I tell myself.

"Hey Al," Calls a sleepy voice as the owner stumbles into my bedroom. Ratty pajamas and bedhead doesn't look good on anyone, unless you're Rosalie I guess. Her pale blonde hair tangled and in every which way almost conceals her face. "Can I borrow your Gucci boots with the buckle?" She asks through a heavy yawn. "If you know where they are of course." She adds after she had pushed aside some of her hair from her face took a look around my room.

"Yeah, I haven't tossed my shoes around yet." I mumble, stepping over a pile of discarded shirts. "Where are you headed this morning?"

Rose walks into my room and plops down on my bed, "Photo shoot downtown, at the park across from that bakery that Bella always goes to."

I nod my head, "That's a beautiful park! The snow makes it look like winter wonderland." I hand her my beloved boots, and only briefly considered telling her to be careful with these babies. But Rose knew they were like my babies, she was there on my seventeenth birthday when my parents gave them to me.

"Thanks." She says through another yawn, "I'll see you later."

"Later."

Bella

Alice runs into the kitchen as she finishes tying the wrap of her dress. She mumbles under her breath as she packs her lunch and throws bread into the toaster. On rare occasion is Alice Brandon ever late or not prepared for the day. It was one of those rare occasions, and she was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Of course I find these days to be amusing, but it also means something major is derailing her. I quietly sip on my tea as I watch her fly about the kitchen, cramming her breakfast into her mouth. Rosalie wanders into the kitchen, carefully stepping around Ali's flighty movements as she pulls out her breakfast shake thing from the fridge. I learned a long time ago not to make disgusting faces at Rose's food choices. I ate my blueberry muffin from Riley's Bakery happily as Rose sat down next to me with a magazine and her so called breakfast.

"Bye!" Alice calls as she speeds her way out the door.

I look over at Rose, her face concealing any emotion as she sips her breakfast and flips through Cosmo. "Do you think something is bothering Alice?"

Rose looks up at me, pressing her lips together in thought. "Yeah," she says as she shrugs, "but I haven't a clue what. Maybe it was that date she was going on about over lunch yesterday."

"Maybe." But it just didn't sound right.

"Not convinced?" She asks, giving me a knowing smile.

I sigh, "She just doesn't seem herself lately. And Al isn't the type of girl who gets all messy after a bad first date."

"Have you seen her room?" Rose asks, her eyes attentive to some article.

"No, why?"

Rose looks up and smirks, "Just asking." She gets up from her seat, "Enjoy your Saturday."

oooooooooooo

"Evil..." I mutter as I shake off the snow from my coat and hair. I shoot a glare outside the window, silently yelling at myself for venturing out in the snow. I definitely could have worked on writing out lessons inside the apartment, but no apparently I've gone crazy. I find a cozy looking spot in the corner and settle in despite my angry thoughts about the weather and my sanity.

"The usual chai tea latte." A familiar, deep southern voice says as a mug of tea is set in front of me.

I look up and smile, "Good afternoon Jasper, thank you." Jasper, my newish friend. I started coming to this coffee shop in August, now here we are in December. It took about two months for him to learn what I usually ordered, but only a month after that to discern my mood when I come in and serve accordingly. He works here part time on the weekends, but is actually a teacher like me. He's been applying everywhere, but full time teaching jobs are hard to come by. Suddenly I remembered why I came out in the yucky snow. "Oh! I have news for you!" I said in an Alice like squeal.

Jasper gave me a funny look and sat down across from me. He looked equally amused and interested in what I had to say, "Go on."

I grinned excitedly at him, "The history teacher I work with just got fired. Apparently sleeping with students is illegal." I say sarcastically, pretending to look shocked.

At first Jasper was looking at me like 'why on earth are you telling me this' but it slowly realization crept onto his face. "There is an opening for a history teacher?"

"Mmhm. And it just so happens that I have a copy of your resume and I might have showed it to some important people." I shrugged, as I casually took a slip of my chai.

Jasper looked incredulous, the most emotion I'd seen him express. "You're kidding!" He says, standing up, "Why Isabella Swan, you may be the best friend ever."

I smirk, "Yeah, I am pretty great, huh?" Jasper's laugh fills the room, his excitement contagious. Suddenly he leans down toward me and pulls me into him. Whoa, is it totally creepy that my first thought was how amazing does he smell? Like cinnamon and coffee. Not any of the chemical spray you usually smell on a guy. But I think my next thought was worse: he is so much more built than he looks! I snapped out of my stupid and embarrassing thoughts as I hugged him back.

"Thank you Bella! Even if this doesn't pan out, you're still amazing! Thank you!" He whispers, squeezing me little tighter before letting go.

"You're welcome Jasper." I say a little breathlessly, I duck my head trying to hide the slight blush I feel. The door chimes, signaling a customer.

"I'm going to get you a slice of pie!" He declares as he walks away to the counter.


End file.
